P r a g m a t i c D r e a m e r |
Thursday, April 06, 2006
People are scared of death like its something to be afraid of. I'm not scared of death. That is, I'm not scared of me dying. Although I must admit I am more scared of people dying on me... like family, friends or loved ones. It comes with being selfish. I don't ever want to feel how it is to have someone dear die. I don't think I can bear it. *** I was joking around with people at work earlier. It's because I did something pretty stupid that I'm not gonna write about because it's too embarrassing. Let's just say I convinced myself that that something stupid would be the death of me. So I kept telling them, "I'm gonna die! Oh my god!". I was joking of course. But this one lady kinda' took me seriously and asked why I keep saying that. She said it might come true. But then I replied, "Well, then, at least I had the chance to say goodbye to all of you." Which she thinks is an awful thing to say. But I further joked, "At least then you'll have something to talk about at work. You'll tell everyone, 'yeah she kept saying she's gonna die and she did! She predicted her death! '" She just shook her head at me. See, I'm not taking death too lightly, as what she probably thinks. It's just that I'm not scared of it like I used to. As I grow up, I realized that I may not know what lies behind death, but I know that's where I'll find peace. Hey, I'm not suicidal or anything like that. Nor is my life too lonely for me to say a thing like that. But surely, after all that's happening in this crazy world, something better awaits us all in the afterlife.
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