Weirdest Thing

A couple of nights ago, I dreamt of one of my exes.

It's weird because I know for sure that I'm completely over him. We didn't end the relationship in the best of terms, but a few months of virtually zero communication with him, fate had found a way to erase all the bitterness. We had the chance to talk, and I'm glad to say that, eventhough we could never be the best of friends, we finally threw away all that bullshit and all the memories that came along with it.

I know he's happy now, and I know that I am too.

But then, why dream of him? What was my subconscious trying to tell me?

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Two years of living here in New Jersey, I realized that my perception of being overweight has changed.

You see, I remembered back in college, I would whine to all of my friends that I'm fat. I, who weigh 118 lbs, thought that I was fat.

It doesn't help that most of my friends would comment of my bulging arms, big tummy, and puffy cheeks.

I wasn't fat. Actually that 118 lbs was just the right weight for my height.

But living in a country where almost everyone is skinny, I, with the big tummy, big arms and puffy cheeks, was considered fat.

But when I came here in America, people called me a little girl. Imagine my delight at being called little. Haha. I know it's shallow, but I think that because of being surrounded with big Americans, I realized how foolish I was to think that I was ever fat.

****
I got lost while driving... again.

You'd think that having resided here in New Jersey for two years I would know by now my way home.

Well... yes. But not when there's a roadwork going on, and the signs tell you to take the alternative route. Then you say, fuck! what alternative route? And so you follow your instinct and keep on driving, only your instinct on directions is really not reliable at all. You should have realized that when you've been driving straight to nowhere for 30 minutes already. And only then do you turn back and drive another 30 minutes just to get back to where you started.

And then you feel foolish because if only you read the signs more clearly, without panicking, then you would have been home an hour ago.

And then you feel more stupid because you've just used a quarter of your filled-up gas tank from driving to nowhere land.