P r a g m a t i c D r e a m e r
Saturday, December 18, 2004

Haven't blogged for a while. Been so busy with school and work. Hay salamat tapos na ang Finals ko sa school. Thankfully, I can say that I survived Anatomy and Physio I. Pasado naman. Next sem I have to take Anatomy & Physio II. Hayyy. Memorization na naman. Kakasawa.

***
Kailangan kong magsulat sa Filipino for a while. Feeling ko kasi alam nung friend ko sa trabaho itong blog na ito. And that's a no-no. Syempre di pwedeng paghaluin ang buhay ko as a blogger, at buhay ko sa trabaho. There are some things I have to keep secret. Adds mystery to my personality, aight? Well, I know that's stupid, e d sana d na lang ako nag-online journal dba? Oh well, I'll try to hide this as long as I can.

***
Natutuwa ako sa kaibigan kong iyon. Ang sarap nyang kausap.

Nung una ko syang nakilala, sabi ko, ang weirdo naman ng taong ito. Basta, may pagka-weird kasi talaga sya. Pero one thing I should've learned in my 4 years of stay in UST, e yung mga mukhang weirdo, sila yung mga matatalino, masarap kausap, smart. Kaya ayun, once I got to know him, I found out what a nice person he is. Ang sarap talaga nyang kausap. May sense, tapos marunong pang makinig. Alam mo yun, may mga tao kasi na eventhough they say they are listening, minsan parang hindi pa rin sila marunong makinig?

Itong kaibigan kong ito, sobrang talino talaga. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, he's a jack of all trades. Lahat alam nya.

Natapos sya ng AB English, then sometime in the near future, itutuloy daw nya pag-aaral nya, at kukuha sya ng Law. Ang tatay at kapatid nya kasi ay mga lawyers kaya sunod sya sa yapak nila.

Isang araw sa trabaho, wala kaming magawa, kaya ayun, nagkwentuhan lang kami. Our conversation started out light enough - talked about movies, actors, music. Then it eventually led to him telling me of his love life (or lack thereof). At ewan ko ba, ang galing nya kasi makinig, for the first time in a long time, (I haven't really opened up to anyone for a long time, natuto na siguro ako, but that's another entry) I told him of my life, of my fears, of what I'm feeling right now, of what I had undergone here in Jersey. Everything. As in, at one point I almost cried in front of him.

And what's so nice about it all, is that he undertands me. That somehow, without me even saying anything, it's as if he knows. Basta, iba yung feeling e.

People come and go in my life, some stayed, some left. But there are only those few that left a lasting impression, those few who took a part of me when they left, and those few who I really, really made a connection with. And he's one of those few.

I hope I can keep him.

***
May nakaaway pala ako sa work.

Lack of sleep for 48 hours + hunger + tiredness = very, very bad temper. as in, watch out. Don't cross me.

Anyway, d ko na sasabihin anong nangyari. Long story e. Let's just say it ended up with me shouting at the guy, me storming off to the bathroom, then running to my car and crying.

Gaaad. I hate it when I'm angry. Kasi umiiyak ako. I'm one of those people na umiiyak pag galit.

Pero ang sweet ni Jason kasi he followed me to my car, and wala syang jacket, super lamig, as in it was freezing outside. Tapos kahit na d sya ang kaaway ko, sinisigawan ko sya. Pero he didn't shout right back. Hinayaan nya lang ako. He just put his arms around me and held me tight. He didn't say anything. Then when I told him that I wanted to go home already, he went out of the car, and scraped the ice from my windshield. Dun na ako na-guilty. Coz it was freezing, and he didn't have any jacket or gloves pero he didn't complain. He just scraped the ice though nakikita ko na nanginginig na sya sa lamig.

And that's when I realized that this guy really, really loves me.

If only I can love him the way he loves me.

***
Gaaad, I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't seem to give out my heart to him. As in love him the way he deserves to be loved.

Paano ka nga ba naman magmamahal kung yung puso mo d pa nababalik sa yo.

posted at 5:34 PM by joyce

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About Me
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Joyce. 22 23 24. Filipino. Journalism graduate. working student. Scorpio. chocolate lover not anymore.collects teddy bears shoes.drama queen. crybaby. book lover.frustrated singer. good dancer. extrovert. observer. loves to daydream. has an overactive imagination. green-minded. cynical and yet romantic. sweet. internet addict. talkative. a walking contradiction . mababaw. childish . loves to laugh a lot. pretty friendly. optimistic. impulsive buyer. doormat. directionally challenged. worrywart. constantly on a diet. movie fanatic :)
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