Do you settle?

Do you settle for second best, because the one thing that you really wanted is out of reach? Or do you go with the idea, if you can't have it, you'd rather not have anything at all?

Do you settle in love? Because you can't have the one you love, you'd rather have the one who will be there for you and love you?

I don't know where these questions lead... but I know one thing... I settle.

***
It's only the second week of Novemember, and yet, I already heard Christmas songs playing on the radio.

At first, it made my heart swell with contentment. I love Christmas. During this time of the year, it's like everything's all right in the world.

But then I remembered something that made me sad all of a sudden, and not even Jason's reassurance can make me feel better.

I'm not going to spend Thanksgiving with my family....

I'm not going to spend Christmas with my family...

I'm not going to spend the New Year with my family...

I don't know whether to just cry or vow for revenge. My heart is filled with frustration and anger.

Frustration because it's not my fault and yet I'm the one being punished, and the culprit gets away with it, dances gleefully, and lives life as if everything's right in his world, when his soul is probably burning in hell right now.

And I'm angry at them and at me because I let him get away with it...

***
Jason invited me to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family. Maybe I will. I met his parents, grandparents and siblings already, and I like them.

Kaso I'm still shy.