Will this last?

Being the jaded person that I am, I cannot help but wonder how long this will last. It feels so good that sometimes I wonder if it really is happening to me, if it is real, if it's not just a dream.I feel that God has given me another chance at love, and I'm scared that I might screw up again. I'm scared to wake up one day, become the unbeliever one more time, and then in the end I'd end up being all alone.

For months I tried to ignore him, to resist the attraction I had felt, to deny being drawn to him. For months I tried to tell myself that I am not yet ready, that my heart is still broken, that I am sick and tired of trying and failing in the end, that I already lost my faith in love, in men, in me, and in relationships. For months I tried to hide behind the wall I built around myself. I kept people at arms length. I smiled and flirted but everything was just for show.

But he was so persistent. I ignored him, but still he kept trying to get to know me. I shooed him away like an annoying bee, but he kept buzzing in my ear. He was so persistent that he was able to break down the walls I had built. He was so persistent that the walls crumbled into dust at my feet. He was so persistent that slowly the fake smile turned genuine, that the laughter wasn't for show anymore. He was so persistent that slowly, slowly I become the believer one more time. He was so persistent that he made me believe in love again.

One time we went to this romantic place by the lake, and with his arms around me, his breath fanning my neck, I felt this overwhelming feeling for him. Is this love, I wondered. I sang this song so perfect to the way I feel about him. It is cheesy, I know but the lines of the song said it all...


How did you know I needed someone like you in my life
That there's an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life
I'll never forget how you brought the sun to shine in my life
Took all the worries and fears that I have
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you...

I hope and pray this would last... somehow I would make it last.

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One year na pala akong nagba-blog. Naks! D ko napansin... Happy anniversary pragmatic dreamer! Grabe, one year pa lang pala nakalipas pero ang dami na nangyari sa akin. Scary!