To all my friends, sorry!

I've been a very, very bad friend lately.

I don't return calls. I don't answer emails. I decline invitations to hang-out.

In short, these past few days, I've been a recluse.

Blame it on anything... but the truth of the matter is, I just wanted to be alone. I don't wanna be bombarded with anymore problems right now, because I have enough of my own to deal with. I don't wanna hang-out because I don't feel like putting up a facade of happiness when I feel the opposite.

So, to my newfound friend Ela, don't be put out if I keep saying no to all your invitations to go to the beach, I'm just not in the beach mood right now. It's not that I don't wanna hang out with you. I just don't feel like going out and driving for an hour just to go to Atlantic City.

And to Aaron, who IM'd me and told me to keep in touch, sorry for not keeping in touch. Sorry for the lack of emails. I'm not in the mood to email anyone right now, not just you. God knows, a lot of my friends are probably angry right now because I haven't emailed them for a while. But that doesn't mean that I don't miss talking to you though. I do miss you. Miss ko yung kulitan natin sa phone. We haven't talked for a long, long while, have we? I wanna know how California is treating you right now?  Do you like it there? Have you met new friends already? Basta, I promise to email you when I get out of this I-don't-wanna-talk-to-anyone-I-don't feel-like-talking mode. Sensha na ha. This will pass.

And Ivy, sorry for the lack of phone calls. You do understand ryt? I miss you.

And JP, sorry for the lack of phone calls too. I know you're undergoing major problems right now. And I'm sorry if I didn't call you at that time when you seem to need me the most. I have problems I have to deal on my own too, and no, I know you're thinking it's a heart problem, I can now assure you that it's not, I've moved on already dude. Maybe it's time you do that too. For your own peace of mind. Anyway, why don't you blog anymore? I love reading your posts you know!

***
I'm not really an outgoing person. Sure, once in a while I love to party, or to hang out with friends, but for the most part I enjoy my own company much more than I enjoy being with friends.

I'm not anti-social. I'm just not an outgoing person.

***
A guy from work, who has a crush on me (hey this is my blog, walang kokontra!) just asked me to marry him.

A joke of course.

But I bet he would jump at a chance to go out with me. Everyone's saying so anyway.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I had already given up. Or maybe I just want to take a rest from any emotional baggage. But I don't wanna go out with anyone right now. No matter how cute they are, or how nice. I'm tired from all that relationship crap that never seem to work out anyway. You invest your time on  a person, only to lose him in the end. So what's the use of trying again if it will just happen over and over again. Loving. and losing, loving and losing?

Syet. Spoken like a true jaded gal.

***
I'm contemplating on watching the concert of Aiza Suegerra (tama ba spelling?) here in New Jersey on August 28. Jologs ba? When I was in college, I used to see her in school, and I don't take notice of her. Now I'm contemplating on watching her concert. Jologs nga. Hehe.

But hey, I miss the Philippines. And I wouldn't pass up a chance to hear live Pinoy music. :)