I just had my bangs cut real short.

No more of that one length hair I had since third grade.

I needed the change.

Since everything around me seems to be changing, I figured I need to change too.

So, I changed my hairstyle.

Not as bad as I thought actually. Nope. Not bad at all.

I hardly recognize myself. I look completely different. And I spent hours looking at myself at the mirror, so this new look kinda' grows on me.

***
Actually, I'm kinda' feeling low today and I needed something to preoccupy me so I fiddled with my hair.

I'm sad and I'm angry and I'm disappointed, and I'm bordering on depression. And I really wanted someone to talk to, and yet that one person who I can really talk to is gone.

You know how it hurts so bad when something really bad happens to you and yet everyone seems to be blaming you, and not the culprit?

Hello, you're the victim here! So why does it feel like it's your fault when it's 100% not your fault?

Why do some bad people get away with what they did, and why does the victim have to live to the consequences of what that bad person did?

Argh. I wanna get out of this state. I hate the people who lives here. Really I do. That one person whom I thought I could trust turned out to be a pervert, then that other person whom I also thought I could trust turned out to be an arrogant jerk, and those people whom I really love are fighting...

Argh. I'm not making any sense!

Let's just say that I'm the victim and yet I feel like I was at fault somehow.

***
What made me even sadder is the news that my cousins are moving to Texas, probably this August or September. Or sooner. Who knows?

Hay, Mags, is that true? Now, who am I gonna call when I want to go to the mall, when I want to go shopping, when I want to watch a movie? Who's going to be riding at the passenger seat of my car when I get lost driving around in circles? Who's gonna listen to me rant and rant about the state of my love life (or rather the lack of it)? Who's gonna be there for me when I fall in-love again? Who's gonna be there for me when I get my heart broken one more time? Who's gonna see me cry? Who's gonna listen to my tale of woes?

But I know why you're leaving... believe me, I want to leave this state too. This is getting too much for me, what with the problems of the family and all. I wish I could go with you guys. Take me with you, will ya?