Awake and hating it

It's too early for me to be awake. Esp. on my day off.

But I don't know. I woke up around 6:30, and I couldn't go back to sleep again. What's keeping me awake? I dunno.

Maybe I'm nervous about today's first-day of class. But in all honesty, I know I'm not. I don't even feel an ounce of excitement, not like my cousin, Mag, who probably didn't sleep last night because she was too excited to go to school.

I'm not excited. I'm not nervous. I just don't feel anything about going to school again...

Maybe someone's thinking of me. Haha. Illusion, Joyce. Nice but highly unlikely.

***
Deyeypee

I called him last night. It was so nice to hear his voice again. It was so nice to laugh with an old friend. But what's so awful about calling up old friends back home is that, after you hang up the phone, you'd get this empty feeling in your heart to remind you how much you miss home. Makes you more and more homesick.

***
WWWWHHHAAAAT?????

I knew I'd get violent reactions when I'll tell friends I'd be getting my tongue pierced. What's the big deal really?

JP said go do whatever makes me happy. But I also heard things he didn't say. I know he doesn't approve.

Then when I told Wacqs about it, he went wacko. Well, I guess it was on the way I told him.

"Hey, I just had my tongue pierced."

No reaction.

"Did you hear me?

One. Two. Three. Four. Five... Si--

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? A TONGUE PIERCE? WHAT THE HELL? WHO INFLUENCED YOU TO DO THAT? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL NOW THAT YOU HAVE THAT RING ON YOUR TONGUE? WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU? WHY ARE YOU CHANGING SO MUCH? SANA NAMAN DI MAWALA PAGKA-FILIPINO MO. MY GOD. WERE YOU TRYING TO GO WITH THE FLOW THERE? IS THIS YOUR WAY OF TRYING TO FIT IN? KUNG ANO USO DYAN YAN ANG GAGAYAHIN MO? WHAT NEXT, A TATTOO?..."

Actaully, he said a lot more than that but I forgot them. Or I just closed my ears on him. I didn't want to hear what he was saying to me. Because they were not true. I think he even said something about how much I have changed, and that he still remembered the first time he saw me, when I walked in at their office in Camp Aguinaldo, and how simple I was then.

I didn't change. I'm still that simple girl who walked in at his office that fateful day. I'm still me. Just a different version.

I let him rant for about 30 minutes, without me saying anything. And when he lost his steam, it was my turn to have my say. Actually I didn't say a lot. I just told him I'm 21 years old, of legal age, and I know what I'm doing. And no, no one influenced me. No, it wasn't my way of trying to fit in here. No, I haven't changed. I'm still a Filipino through and through. I still retained the Filipino values instilled in me by my parents. I had my tongue pierced because I want to. There's no other reason for that.

He wanted to say a lot more, I can tell, but I cut him off -- "No, I haven't gotten a tongue pierce yet, but I'm thinking about it."

He gave a big sigh of relief. Then he begged and begged and begged me not to do it.

Did his constant pleading worked? Nope. I haven't changed my mind.