I'm tired of pretending. I realized that I've got to be true to myself now. I've been having these doubts for a long time now. And I can't ignore them anymore.

That song Cacophony that I posted way, way back holds true to what I'm feeling.

I don't love him. Maybe I never did.

Gaaaaddd, why do I have to hurt another person. I'm getting tired of this already.

I ought to be shot or stoned or hanged. Whatever. Just kill me now will you? I don't think I can bear to see the pain I am going to inflict on him through his blue, blue eyes.

:(((