Thinking is making me crazy

I better stop thinking too much. I'm making myself crazy....

I'm scared. I'm actually very scared again.

I don't understand myself anymore. I don't know what I feel now. Maybe I'm just not really cut out to have long-lasting relationships. Maybe I'm really just worn out with love right now.

It's not them... it's me. I just can't seem to stay.

The gods of doubts are calling out again, and god, I'm actually wanting to heed their calls, and walk away. What the hell is wrong with me? What do I really want?

It's not that I don't love him. I guess I just needed time for myself... I've jumped from one relationship to another to another to another, without really having time to be alone.

Oh god, let this be just the vodka, margarita and long island iced tea talking.

(Don't mind this post... tomorrow when I'm sober I'll be singing a different tune.... I hope)